BayWatch All-Girl Pit Crew at AutoSport 99
by Jeff Rose
We're back and boy is AutoSport 99 happy about that. Autosport International
recreated a Formula One pitlane with WilliamsF1, Benetton, Sauber, Ferrari,
Jordan and McLaren. Things were going great until the BayWatch All-Girl Pit
Crew arrived. The crowd figured they didn't know a tire change from a wet
tee-shirt contest.
The BayWatch All-Girl Pit Crew were out of the country on a US government
mission. President Clinton had asked them to "lay low" till this "cigar
thing" "blew" over. The girls said yes "as always." Having learned racing
from some less-than-serious Daytona 500 types, BayWatch arrived at AutoSport
with fresh Tee-Shirts, water buckets and Jackie Stewart's home number. They
stepped up to a Ferrari and started to wash, wax and buff... yes, a lot of
buff.
Old timers griped and grumbled right away. Professionals bit their lip. Most
folks crossed their arms and shook their heads. This wasn't racing.
Security arrived and it looked like the girls would get tossed. They finished
the wax-job then stepped behind the wall next to the clock timer. At the word
"Go" they started the clock and jumped the wall.
Hose In, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Four Tyres On! 5 point 9 seconds "Wowie!"
yelled Murray as he forgot he wasn't at a race. The girls stepped back. The
crowd lightened up. Things were okay; especially when the BayWatch Crew Chief
ran her fingers across the tyres. No Grooves... Magic. They'd slipped four
racing slicks onto the Ferrari. This was a set-up; an editorial comment. It
was a plea for a return to slick tyres and more over-taking. The crowd
applauded as Jackie Stewart finally showed up; with a water bucket in hand.
It was time for the second act and they wouldn't need a race car for this one.
Article is written by and copyright (c) 1998 Jeff Rose,
Binghamton, NY.
His other Travel and Humour Articles
can be found at Aloha from the Nervous Nineties.
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